August 2019 Newsletter
Prolapse, incontinence, hip and knee pain strike very close to home for us as women. Our sexuality, ability to move with grace, and stay clean and sweet are about as close to being the definitive qualities to which we physically aspire as women.
When our body fails us in these ways, our most dangerous enemy is lurking just around the corner - feeling that we are victims.
Because we have all been raised in a patriarchal society, because we are not as strong or as physically imposing as men, because of our role in sexuality, I believe virtually all women experience the temptation to feel victimized.
Knowing that victimization is about the worst psychological space we can find ourselves in isn’t very helpful when the feelings show up.
But, a wise woman once said, “Thoughts are things.”
They must be managed just like our household must be managed.
When it comes to the areas of my expertise, prolapse, incontinence, chronic hip and knee pain, it is clear that the root causes are not just postural, they are cultural.
For reasons lost in the dim mists of history, tucking our bottoms, flattening our bellies, and pulling our shoulders back became the expected norm for female posture.
Culture has given women more than our fair share of difficulties.
Difficulties in life beg an existential question, however. Do they exist only to teach us?
Questions like this have many conceivable answers. Since there is no practical way to determine the precise answer to the question, why not choose an answer that opens doors, creates new possibilities, and takes us to higher levels of wisdom and compassion?
Some of life’s “difficulties” can be devastating. The loss of a child, a deadly disease, the potential list is endless.
Relative to the worst life is capable of delivering to us, prolapse, incontinence, chronic hip and knee pain seem relatively benign.
But it has been my experience that pain, physical, emotional, relational, social, financial, or existential, fills the same amount of space in us.
In every case, the pain of life’s challenges and difficulties presents us with a choice. Do we succumb to the overwhelming pain, sorrow, loss, or tragedy of the situation, or do we take a deep breath and dive deeply into the experience, to really know what life has delivered to us, take the ride, and learn the lessons that our difficulties have to teach us?
To accept victimhood, is to abdicate responsibility for our lives.
Victimhood means that we are wasting the opportunity to be deeper, stronger, wiser, and more compassionate.
There is no upside to victimhood.
And we will all slip into that mode from time to time, but we can be alert to the fact that we have done so, and make a conscious choice to take a different path.
Choice lies before us every minute of every day. Even the experience of feeling victimized offers us an opportunity to learn and grow. And in time, our mental habits change as we come to understand that we control the quality of our lives.
As always with deep appreciation,